Posted by Stephen Dye on June 9, 2010:

When Mom asked me to give a eulogy for Dad, I started thinking. What would Dad want me to say? But, I already knew what Dad's answer would be. He'd say: "Oh, I don't want you to say anything. Don't make a big fuss about it." "But, if you do say anything, keep it short!" I will try to honor him by doing that. I'll jump in by starting at the end and say a few words about Dad's passing because it illustrates a point about how he lived. The point is that Dad always had a plan; he knew what to do and how to do it. Dad didn't necessarily tell us the plan, but we knew he had one. We accepted that Dad was in charge and was going to do it his way. So, all in good fun, we'd tease him a little and call him the "Boss" the Big Cheese, or the Colonel. He enjoyed the humor of it, but there was a lot of truth in those nicknames. I think Dad had a plan and executed it all the way to the end. Dad could finally let go knowing his plan had worked -- he had taken care of everything and everybody; knowing that Mom and Susan were there at home with him and everything was in good order. Everything he could do was done. He was at peace; it was time. So he peacefully and calmly went to sleep. He went out on his terms, his way. After he had passed, we all kind of shook our heads in wonder, how did he manage to pull that off? But that was Dad -- finishing his plan. As the youngest growing up in our family, I idolized Dad. I wanted to be just like him. My teenage years interrupted that particular ambition-for a while. Now later in life, when I can possibly see a little more clearly, I aspire more than ever to be like Dad in all the ways that count. Dad's way was to lead by example, not so much with words. He showed us the way by what he did, how he went about it, how he lived. He never stopped leading by example. Though his last few years were incredibly hard, Dad's spirit stayed strong; he had such a positive attitude. He knew he was fighting a losing battle, yet he never despaired, never lost his love of life and sense of humor. He loved being at home with his family, friends and neighbors. He was happy, and had a great peacefulness about him. As he always had been, Dad just seemed to be absolutely fearless. There's an old saying that "You don't realize how strong a person is until you see them at their weakest moment." When Dad could no longer even get out of bed or use his walker, and I'd call on the phone from California and the conversation usually would go like this: So Dad how's it going today, are you hurting, are you OK? He'd say: Oh I'm good, really great; Mom and Joe and Susan are taking such good care of me." Then he'd change the subject: "How's David, how's Christy? How's Kelly getting along in NYC? With Dad, it was never about him. He didn't want to talk about himself. He was more interested in you. He didn't have a selfish bone in his body. There was just no arrogance or conceit, envy or jealousy in him. He had a deep respect for other people, regardless of rank or where they came from. Dad had a great sense of who he was, never tried to be anybody else and was as comfortable in his own skin as any man I've ever known. Dad lived by a certain code. It wasn't something he talked about, it just was part of him. It was his sense of duty to his family and to others. In 1943, just a few months after he turned 18, Dad quit school and enlisted in the Army in the midst of WWII. He ended up getting an appointment to the US Military Academy at West Point where the code is "Duty, Honor, Country." That suited Dad, it really fit him. Dad was always on duty for us and for others -- as an Army officer looking out for his men or as the head of our family. Another Army motto summed up Dad's can -- do spirit and devotion to duty: The motto was "Anything, Anywhere, Anytime -- Bar Nothing." That one came from the 39th Infantry Battalion that Dad commanded in Germany. Once again, it wasn't something he talked about at home, but it was just so evident in how he conducted himself and took care of us. This ingrained devotion to duty made Dad as generous a man as you would ever know. There wasn't any sacrifice Dad wasn't gladly willing to make for his family and friends and neighbors, though he would never admit that he sacrificed anything. It was just his way. Family meant everything to Dad. He was a devoted son. He and his Dad ( my grandpa Dye) were so close. When Grandpa needed Dad, Dad was always there for him. What a great example he set for us about love and respect for our parents. Above all, Dad was a loving husband. Mom and Dad recently celebrated their 64th wedding anniversary. They started out as high school sweethearts at Oakwood HS in Dayton Ohio. I know over all those years and all the challenges, it wasn't always easy for them, but their dedication to each other was so strong and durable through thick and thin. Their love and devotion just seemed to increase year after year. In their own unique ways, they always tried to make each other happy-and they succeeded. What can I say about Dad as a father? He provided exactly what we needed: order, stability, guidance, support, understanding, affection, humor, values, respect, love. Dad somehow knew what each of us needed, and how to handle each of us through all of our stages and changes as children and as adults. And even more -- Dad delighted in our children -- his 7 grandchildren who were so dear to him and later his two beautiful great granddaughters. He was so proud of his family, every one of us. Dad and Mom have also been blessed with such great friends and neighbors who were always a huge source of fun, happiness and support. Dad cherished their friendship. I've already failed to keep this short as Dad would have wanted. It's too difficult to capture in words what Dad meant to all of us and how much we miss him. Yet, that sadness is a small and transitory thing compared to the long, productive and happy life that Dad so enjoyed, the happiness he brought to us and his legacies that will go forward on the foundation he provided. Thank you Dad. Rest in peace.

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