Jacob D. Bower

West Point, 2015

Be Thou At Peace

Posted by Amy Michael on August 10, 2011:

It doesn't matter if you played with Jacob or against him on the ball court or the football field. It doesn't matter if you were his best friend or if you knew him in passing. It doesn't matter if you knew him his whole life or just for a short time. If you knew Jacob you knew he was special. You knew he had a work ethic that was second to none. He just didn't want to be good, he wanted to be the best. He just didn't talk about a code of ethics, he tried to live it. He didn't talk the talk, he walked the walk. If you knew Jacob you know he lived life to the fullest. He set goals and he achieved them. Jacob was determined and did what he needed to succeed. For example, When Jacob's pelvis was crushed by that anorectic bone cyst, Jacob didn't give up, he went to Boys State in pain and discomfort 4 days after surgery because he wanted to ensure he made it to West Point. Yes, he was special. In June, we all decided to go on a family vacation to the beach before Jacob left for West Point. While there, he searched for a good gym, lifted weights and then ran a mile or two every day because he wanted to be ready physically when he got to West Point. Even before that he hiked and ran in his boots and with a full backpack for months in preparation for his next journey. Not many kids have that kind of commitment and dedication to a goal. Jacob was also logical. He had the most logical brain of any young person I know. He could see the end result and not get distracted about the little things that didn't really matter. I guess that's why he was such a good leader. Jacob always gave credit where credit was due and balanced humility with his quiet confidence. Jacob loved deeply and knew he was loved. He didn't take love for granted. He was committed to his family, Emily, his friends and his country. Jacob could have gone to any college he chose, but he decided he wanted to serve his country and for that I thank him. Let me go back to how deeply Jacob loved. Emily do you realize you are the only girl Jacob ever loved and you are the special one who got to love him back. I know your love was cut short but some people go their whole life without being loved like that. Thank you for the unselfish love you gave to him every day. You will always be considered a member of our family. We will always be here for you. Jacob loved his friends deeply. He cherished them and always made time for them. He always had their backs, huh Travis? Since this tragedy I have heard many stories that reflect Jacob's character. One such story comes from Sarah Zelnik. Sarah had been ill for some time and after her recovery still had good and bad days at school. She told her mother that Jacob asked her how she felt every day and on the days she said she wasn't at her best, without asking or being asked, Jacob would simply pick up her books and carry them to her next class . Yes, he was special. Jacob loved his family deeply. He had the upmost respect for you Ginger and Dean. He knew that everything you did was for him and Ryan and he loved you so much. You did a wonderful job raising Jacob and played a large role in what made him so special. Ryan, Jacob loved you and was so proud of you. He loved to see you growing and becoming a great person, athlete and musician and of course he loved to game with you. Stay strong you will be ok. Drew you could always make Jacob laugh and he was always amazed with the amount of trivia you have in that head of yours. He loved you and knows how much you loved him. Jacob always made time for us and loved our weekly family dinners. I remember when we threw his 16th birthday party. It was Emily's job to keep him away from the house so we could get things set up and to get him back without him knowing. We didn't know if she could pull it off, but she did. We were all sitting back in the field and as he saw us and walked down the hill, he got madder and madder because he thought we were having a family function and didn't invite him. He was so surprised. That was the humble part of Jacob. So many people loved him, but he was always surprised when people showed up for him. I remember Ginger telling me about Jacob making the prom court, he told her it made him feel good that people outside his inner circle thought enough of him to vote for him. Those of you who knew Jacob well, I urge you to share stories about him with Ryan and Drew. Unfortunately they do not get to make new memories with Jacob so please open up to them and let them be a part of some of yours. Jacob was a role model to many, including Ryan and my son. They looked up to him and idolized him and aspire to be like him as do so many others. This is so evident when you see young children like Ty's son Austin. Austin took blue and gold chalk and wrote a message on the sidewalk that said "Jacob Bower I will not forget you". Then the other day I heard my husband sum it all up. He was telling his sister most kids are usually inspired by those older than them, but Jacob inspired adults. Yes, he was special. After Jacob passed, Drew said he wanted to honor Jacob's memory and I said we would. So, later as I mourned my nephew, I thought how can we honor him and then it dawned on me that we can all honor Jacob by trying to aspire to his code. Let's try not to be just good, but the best. Let's not settle for a B, but get that A, let's not just go to practice, but work our butts off, let's treat others with respect and compassion. Let's set goals and achieve them while being humble with Jacob's quiet confidence. Let's love deeply, let's serve a cause other than our own, let us walk the walk, not talk the talk. I think Jacob would be pleased and honored if we aspire to be special too. I've always said the Gods were smiling the day Jacob was born. He came into this world a big, strong force. That's the way he lived his life and that's the way he left us. He was a scholar. He was athletic. He was personable. He was a leader. He was loved. He was special. I have many fond memories of Jacob and could go on and on. I tried to think what I would miss the most about him. I will miss his laughter and his beautiful brown eyes, I'll miss teasing him and poking him in the ribs when he got out of line, I will miss giving him second and third servings of dessert, I will miss our quiet talks and cheering for him during the game, but most of all I think I'll miss his gentle ways and the he way he grinned at me for no reason at all. I will miss you Jacob. I will carry you forever in my heart, my soul and my memories. I love you.

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