Posted by Denis Gulakowski on August 4, 2017:

Tub was truly a "Guy's guy", an above average Joe who, like many of us, came from a humble background and was thrust into the cauldron of cadet life during the Vietnam War. I roomed with Tub as an underclassman, and together with the other members of B-3 we slogged our way through the Academy's version of Skinner's maze to finally find ourselves, as Firsties, nearing graduation. A major motivating factor for Tub was his relationship with his beloved Cindy, whom he would wed shortly after graduation. With the ultimate goal in sight, Tub arranged with his family for them to make the journey from Jackson, Michigan to our Rockbound Highland Home (they were scheduled to be on station for about a week) and he was looking forward to their arrival and giving them the grand tour. A tour, in fact, subsequently materialized, but not the one Tub expected. Tub as a cadet was not even close to being in the class of our beloved Bill Pahissa, exulted B-3 member of the Century Club, but because of karma*, found himself in somewhat of a predicament. It seems that Tub, along with a few others from B-3 (who will remain anonymous) thought that they could excuse themselves from an evening lecture in the South Auditorium of Thayer Hall, after reporting in. Relying on skills garnered during Recondo week of our Yearling summer training, they surreptitiously exfiltrated South Aud, and were in the process of exiting the building when they ran into another classmate, on his way into the lecture. Said classmate (who also will remain anonymous) was a member of brigade staff and facing this unexpected event, was required to perform his duties. The unfortunate result of their creative, but ill advised, sojourn was a slug, to include multiple iterations of the aforementioned unexpected "tour", a sizable number of demerits and room confinement up until graduation. Needless to say, this unfortunate circumstance put a definite crimp in the graduation celebration plans at West Point for the Maxson entourage. The long-awaited Graduation Week finally came and quite unexpectedly, all graduating Area Birds had their punishment commuted by The Powers That Be (in this case, The Powers That Were). Tub was able to spend a few of the days of his family visit with them, thus salvaging some joy and not having his tenure at West Point end on a down note. That is, until at the end of the graduation ceremony in Michie Stadium, when we arose at the appropriate time to move to the podium to receive our diplomas from Gen. William Westmoreland. As Tub advanced during the waning minutes of his career as a cadet, he received the ultimate departure gift: a passing bird, of unknown species, on a flight route intersecting Tub's path to the podium made an obvious deposit that splashed onto the back of Tub's Full Dress Gray coat. Those in his immediate vicinity, to include myself, were temporarily stunned by this culminating coincidence. Upon grasping the symbolic significance of the event and stifling our natural response to guffaw, we proceeded to accept our diplomas. A short time thereafter, as newly minted USMA graduates, those of us privileged to view the spectacle, which manifested the most literal example of "being dumped on", gave the fondest and most heartfelt congratulations one could muster to our temporarily incredulous classmate. Once the full realization sunk in, Tub laughed and, recognizing the irony, said something to the effect of "Why am I not surprised? -- A perfect ending." He indicated that he would cherish and keep that FD coat forever. Few of us can top that story. Tub, per your last wishes, JoAnne and I are raising our glasses, in sharing this story. And Tub, we'll all miss your presence, but our fond memories will remain... Denis Gulakowski, B-3 * Karma: action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad.

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