Posted by Karen Bertocci on July 12, 2011:

I miss my father. He was extraordinary. I love reading all of the tributes to the kind-hearted, loyal, adventurous & very genuine man that we know as husband, father, PopPop and friend. It is confirmation that he had as much of an impact on others as they had on him. More than anyone I know, my father was a relationship person. He made you feel special. He had a warm, inviting personality that drew people to him. As my brother said, my father was always more interested in learning about others than talking about himself. That was so true. We witnessed him working that magical gift while interacting with the staff at Duke and again at Hospice in the last moments of his life. It was extraordinary. My father was extraordinary in my eyes for many reasons, the biggest of which was he was our "soft place to fall". Throughout our lives, my father set the stage for all of the members of the family to flourish. He loved to say that it was his job as a parent to give his kids their wings so that, when the time came, we could "fly". I can tell you from personal experience, there were a few times that each of our "take-offs" were not that smooth. However, it never mattered.... we always, always had a soft place to fall. My father never judged or scolded us. Instead, he was amused by us and was unflinchingly proud. Because we always felt that and because we wanted to honor the example that he and our mother set, each of us children wanted to spread our wings and continue to make them proud. Some of my fondest memories of my father were when I was a new lieutenant in the Army and I was attending my Officer's Basic Course at Fort Ben Harrison, where he happened to be serving as the Deputy Post Commander at the time. While I was going to great lengths to not be seen with him so that my peers would not make the connection, my father could not have enjoyed the situation anymore. An example was when my class was preparing to go through our first dress blues event, complete with a receiving line. Understandably, many folks were a little intimidated by the presence of senior officers. What I did not know until I went through the line was that my dad was filling in for his boss, the Commanding General, and was there to greet my classmates & me. Needless to say, he blew my cover when "the colonel" gave me a big hug when I reached him. Those of you that really know him can probably imagine the big, infectious laugh that followed! Although there were several stories to be recounted over the years (many of which may fall into the "rough take-off" category), what I most loved about being in the same work environment as my father was seeing the way those who worked with and for him admired, respected and genuinely liked him. He was a good guy and he always, without exception, found value in the underdog. He saw the potential in everyone. Yes, he was extraordinary. I always admired the way my father cherished each chapter in his life, but never looked back. Whether it was retiring from the Army or the Revenue Department, he would easily pack up his uniform or his suit without a moment of longing or regret. With his beloved wife by his side, he was eager and ready to move on to the next adventure. The only evidence of his military service was the bonds of friendships he made along the way, as well as the black "A" hat that became his trademark. My father loved nothing more than to gather together with his family, spending countless hours around the game table. The repeated theme is true...my father had the biggest, greatest laugh! He was the first to get the party started and the last to want to see it come to an end. My mother, Kathy, Don & I and our families felt his abundant love just being around him. My father's life ended way too soon. He had so much adventure left in him. Because he was a planner, he spent the last several years of his life setting the stage for our mom to flourish in the event he passed before her. He moved her to a vibrant playground for retirees, where she would be surrounded by supportive friends and, of course, lots of Bridge. She was the love of his life and he wanted her to be well taken care of. He was enormously proud of his grandchildren, admiring their diverse personalities & interests. He left them too soon. However, I am sure he will be smiling down at each of them and grinning at their successes in life. As a family, we were thankful for the opportunity to be with our dear father, father-in-law and husband as he courageously fought and eventually succumbed to cancer. He left knowing exactly how we all felt about him. It was quite a gift to us all. Back to your tributes...If there is one thing I know for sure, it is that my father would love to be present to hear from you all personally. He would love to discuss a shared memory of his youth in Batavia, West Point days, work years or various travels. He would eagerly discuss upcoming reunions, family, or the future of Army football. Without a doubt, he would be very uncomfortable with all the "fuss" being made over him! I will forever miss my soft place to fall.

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