Posted by Joseph A. Bulger III on November 30, 2009:

I am Joseph A. Bulger III, and offer the below as to some insight on my father's essence. It is a eulogy he crafted himself some twenty years ago out of a marriage encounter: Joe Bulger walked his path on earth without much fanfare, little show, but with much pride. He would be the first to tell you that he didn't like the false sense of self pride that tended to keep him just a little aloof, not too close to people, and very much afraid to let us know that he was vulnerable or that he hurt. He would also be the first to tell us that his greatest triumph was his loving relationship to his beloved Patty who filled him up with enthusiasm, acceptance, and love. He counted himself one of the luckiest of men to have her with him in the riches of his mature years. Joe never impressed others with a sense of competitiveness or with a strong desire to get ahead of others. Underneath his cool exterior though, dwelt a man who keenly felt a need to be respected for what he was. Life did not deal him the hand he expected. When he realized that he had potential in the career of his father, he developed an expectation based on a series of accomplishments early in his military career at West Point and in the Air Force. But God had other plans in store for him. It was not easy for him to accept the fact that he could be the general officer that his father was. Those who knew him in the Air Force respected him, learned from him, and always seemed to understand that his rank did not portray his worth or his contribution. Making a contribution was important to Joe. He felt a deep sense of commitment to the principles of duty, honor, and country that he took unto himself at West Point. It wasn't until after his Air Force career ended that began to feel the sense of contribution that was so important to him. When Joe, Patty, and their much loved children moved to St. Monica's, he entered a new phase of life which was to become his most rewarding and fulfilling period. It seemed to him that everything was changing, and it was. He would tell us that his marriage encounter weekend began something new in his outlook on himself, his Patty, and friends. He found a new sense of self worth and closeness to Patty and to God. He smiled more. He had never been close to more than a few friends, but now he was not afraid to be more open, to be vulnerable, and to love. The richness of his relationship to his Patty became visible. We will remember Joe and Patty holding hands, being more together than most and some will wonder if they really had something as special as it seemed to appear. They did. Joe's fondest desire was just to be with Patty, to bask in her sunshine and exuberance, and to revel in their love. It wasn't easy for Joe to say good-bye to his Patty, the one who filled him up with life. Before he died, he did have a chance to share with Patty his sense of guilt for not having provided more for her and his sense of loneliness at the thought of being parted. She knows, better than all of us, his dependence on her. Their children sensed their relationship and knew that the two of them were something special. And they felt much loved too. Patty will understand this more that we can - Joe is smiling now. He is with God and he is smiling at his Patty. The three of them have grown to know each other. They often talked about it. He is waiting for you Patty. And as God hasn't left you alone, he hasn't either. He smiles.

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