Posted by Jim Torres on June 20, 2010:

Jesse Ruder was a good friend to me and was a dedicated soldier to our country. I met Jesse years ago while making a phone call as a reminder to him about attending our V.F.W. Post meeting. He was a proud member of Robert P. Hernandez V.F.W. Memorial Post of Round Rock, Texas. At the time of our conversation, Jessie relayed that he would not be able to attend the meeting due to that fact that he had a difficult time seeing at night and couldn't drive himself. He also mentioned that he had an upcoming doctor's appointment in a few days and didn't know if he would be able to make that appointment either. Seeing as how I had just retired and had some time on my hands, I offered to give him a ride which he gratefully accepted. From that point on we started a friendship that grew very strong and it was at that time that he started to tell me about his life. His acceptance in the prestigious West Point Academy was the high point in his military career and Jesse was so proud to have this achievement under his belt. He also told me of all the wonderful friends he had made, not only at West Point, but after he graduated as well. Though Jesse didn't talk much about his war experiences, he did talk about the great soldiers he had the honor of serving with, such as Col. David Hackworth whom he held in high regard. Jesse made many friends wherever he went and had the attitude that everything he needed or wanted to do, he would achieve it. No ifs ands or buts, Jesse would have the last say so as he was a stickler for detail. He spent a lot of time on his computer and loved communicating with his various friends all over the world. He was also very much into world politics and once he started a conversation on political issues or the state of American leaders.....well let's just say Jesse loved to talk. I recall several conversations that would usually start and end the same way. Jesse would ask me "Jim, what do you think about what Obama or Pelosi or Hillary Clinton said or did today"? Usually I would just sit back and listen and nod while he talked...and talked...and talked. I would sometimes walk into another part of his apartment, out of voice range, and then come back and can you believe he would still be talking away? Jesse lived by himself the last several years as a widower, so he very much enjoyed visitors and the company of anyone who just wanted to chat for a minute. As the years passed and Jesse's health started to deteriorate he still refused to turn up his toes. He lived in a two story condo and at first insisted that he was more than capable of going up and down the stairs, slowly and carefully. He would throw his laundry from the 2nd floor to the 1st, get the wash done, then bundle the clean clothes in a sack and throw it back up from the 1st floor to the 2nd to proceed to his ironing station. He bragged about how strong his leg muscles where from all that stair climbing. After awhile, due to a knee operation, Jesse mainly stayed downstairs so he wouldn't have to climb, but I'll be darned if I didn't catch him every now and then creeping up or down those stairs. I came by for a visit one day and wouldn't you know that somehow, his computer magically appeared next to his bed downstairs along with a small refrigerator stocked with sandwich stuff and Sprites. Jesse, having always been a very independent person, insisted on doing everything for himself and hated to impose on anyone. There where times when I had to force my help on him and insisted that's what friends were for, though he had a hard time believing I was for real. I would tell him that when or if I where in his position, I would hope someone would do the same for me. He fought his predicament to the last days of his extraordinary life. He refused to contact either of his two estranged daughters, though one lived close by. In the last few days, I felt they should know that he was not looking good and chose, against his wishes, to try to contact them. I was able to phone one of his daughters and within a few hours, both she and her son came by the hospital to see Jesse. By this time the doctor had informed me that he was not improving and that his kidneys where shutting down. I called his other daughter several times but never heard anything from her and at that point decided to simply be there for my friend. Jesse was taken off of life support as where his wishes and died peacefully at 11:18 a.m. on Saturday June 12, 2010. My wife Rosemary had gotten to know Jesse through various phone conversations with him the last six months of his life and was there with him, holding his hand until his last breath. We waited about two hours for the funeral homes to come and collect him, at the insistence of my wife. She told me that no one should be left alone especially since no immediate family could be contacted. Just because he wasn't family by blood, didn't mean the he wasn't my brother. Jesse Ruder was my friend...and he did not die alone. Jim Torres

admin