Posted by Michael D Starry on February 8, 2012:

Arlington National Cemetery January 11, 2012 A Family Remembrance - Mike Starry's family remembrance at Dad's Service Never missing an opportunity to pass along a good book Dad (and Mom) gave each of us William Bennet's "The Book of Virtues". In each book was inscribed a Dedication to their four children, myself, Paul, Lissa and Melanie and their grandchildren... "One of life's recurring lessons is that values are important. For values form the basis for what we do and how we do it. They are standards by which we judge others and should judge ourselves. All about us are ranges of the human condition created by people acting without values or with warped values. The problem is not new. It has been written about for thousands of years. Some of the best writings are in this book. We wanted you to have it, not because you don't have values, but because you do. Reading the history of the frustrations with the absence of values helps remind us that we are after all only human; that understanding our imperfectness helps us know the perfectness of God; that a sense of humor about it all - a little humility, is perhaps the most important value of all...except for love, without which nothing else makes much sense." As a Father he lived those values and taught us those values, and others, in many ways: We took battlefield tours -- Gettysburg, Antietam, Fredricksburg, Perryville...picnic lunch, maps, books, binoculers and all... we toured the great battlefields of the civil war, and we learned about courage, commitment, competence, and candor. Dad took Paul and I on trips to Annapolis primarily for the purpose of 'spying' on Navy and other swim teams during the season for the West Point swim coach...stop watch and yellow pad in place we would record their performance and forward the results to the West Point coach...Dad told us: "you must know your competition and understand their strengths and weaknesses" We helped him start his professional library by raiding the one at Ft Holabird, MD which was closing, and paid 10 Cents a pound as I recall. Over time, as we grew older and the library got ever bigger we gained an appreciation for books, for reading, and for how important knowledge is in the quality of one's life and in the quality of one's performance in life's work. The Berlin Wall went up in the early 60s while we were stationed with the 3d Armored Division. He said let's go see the Wall, and we did. He told Paul and I as we stood there looking across the Wall, across the Border between freedom and tyranny, that we should never underestimate man's capacity for cruelty to his fellow man. His sense of humor and humility is reflected in the many roles he played in our lives as children and adults...he was Dudley do right in Saving Fortressa (at Fort Monroe); he was Dracula at the Halloween fright house; he was the Jolly Green Giant for Mardi Gras, he read us Shakespeare and Lissa and Melanie learned to recite the verses of the Witches of MacBeth "...Double, double, toil and trouble..." He was a craftsman...he built furniture, clocks and stained glass lamps and he shared those projects with so many others and passed those talents on especially to Lissa and Paul. As he gained rank and responsibility and gave speeches or wrote articles, we were on distribution... We always got a copy of his most recent work...with a note attached, "Thought you might find this interesting ... quiz to follow." As I accepted my commission as a Lieutenant in the early 70's he told me: Mike there are some things you need to think about as you enter the profession....you must know your job, you must know your people, and you must know yourself. Your biggest challenge will be the last one...knowing yourself. He refused to talk to the media and be a part of the media blitz during the first Gulf War with the comment "I have nothing to say. I will not participate in speculation that in the end serves to inadvertently aid and abet the enemy while we have troops in contact, especially when one of them is my son." Many times he was asked by individuals and audiences about his role in the Army's recovery after Vietnam. I heard his answer many times: "We were led by the vision of GEN Creighton Abrams." Recently before he died he commented to me that that vision still effects the Army today. "We worked hard and we were not sure that it would work", he said "...the new TRADOC organization, the new doctrine, the training, the Big 5 equipment. There were many folks that had a hand in making all that happen." He was quick to sum up saying: "It's amazing how much gets done when no one worries about who gets credit for the work." On one of our Sunday outings Dad took us to the Saalburg, a fort along the Roman wall in Germany, the Limes Germanicus, near present day Bad Homberg in the Taunus Mountains...a long ago frontier where brave soldiers answered the call, manned the frontiers in defense of an empire, and their way of life as so many of us have done during our service. We took a tour of the fort that day. In broken German-English he questioned the curator about some of the interpretation of the archaeology and history. He commented that they had misidentified several landmarks inside the walls, and he was pretty insistent about it. I asked him later "how did you know that?", and he paused and with an uncertain smiled said: "I have been here before...a long, long time ago...". So hopefully he will serve yet again, as a Father and as a soldier, certainly his values of faith, love, and charity and his legacy of teaching, coaching and inspiring extraordinary performance in individuals and units, his uncompromising professional standards and his unselfish service are worthy of study and emulation by current and future generations of his family and his profession. As we sit here today, I'm certain he is among us, and his question of the day is "what's all the fuss about, why are all of you here...I thank you for your coming, and I thank you for your kind thoughts, and your many blessings...but there is much work to be done...so enough for now, let us Press On."

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