Posted by Ken Lang on June 10, 2012:

Obituary: Colonel John Hawley Oakes, a retired Army officer, died peacefully at his home in Croasdaile Farm Village, Durham, North Carolina, with his wife and family by his side. He died of complications of multiple myeloma. He was 78 years old. Col. Oakes was born in Washington DC, attended the St. Albans School, Washington, DC, and The Hotchkiss School, Lakeville, CT. He graduated from The United States Military Academy, West Point, NY, in 1956 as a First Lieutenant in the Field Artillery, and pursued a successful Army career. He served as advisor and trainer of the South Vietnamese Field Artillery officers in the Vietnam War from 1965-66. He later served as Battalion Commander of the 1st and 19th Artillery at Ft. Carson, CO, and in 1974-75 studied at the Army War College in Carlisle Barracks, PA. Col. Oakes' final assignment in the Army was as Alumni Affairs Officer of West Point, NY from 1979-1986, where he was known for his steadfast support and advocacy of women being fully accepted into the Corps of Cadets. In recent years he became a member of Knights Out, an association of supporters and advocates of gay and lesbian graduates of the US Military Academy. Col. Oakes retired to Chapel Hill, NC in 1986. He became widely loved by many in the Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill area. He was active in the Chapel Hill Historical Society and the Chapel Hill Tennis Club, and he served as President of the North Street Neighborhood Organization. In later years, Col. Oakes continued to be active in his community, most recently leading weekly Alcoholics Anonymous meetings for veterans undergoing alcohol and drug rehabilitation at Durham VA Medical Center. His wife of 39 years, Carol Dunn Oakes, died in 1996. Survivors include his wife of ten years, Cynthia Lee Cooper of Durham, NC; his three children, Sue Oakes Verlaan of Huntsville, AL, John C. Oakes II of Charlottesville, VA, and Caroline Kennington Oakes of Bucks County, PA; his two stepchildren, Carly Cooper of Durham, NC, and Laurie Spinelli of Charlottesville, VA; his brother, Jim McKinley-Oakes of Charlottesville, VA; his two sisters, Sue Oakes Keith of McLean, VA, and Margaret Oakes Cox of Oklahoma City, OK; his eight grandchildren; and his many new and life-long friends. There will be a visitation at 1:00 pm and a chapel service at 2:00 pm on Saturday, May 26, at Walker's Funeral Home, 120 W. Franklin Street, Chapel Hill, NC 27516. In lieu of flowers, the family has requested that donations be made in the name of John Hawley Oakes to Duke Homecare and Hospice, or to Durham VA Medical Center.

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