Stephen William Frank

West Point, 1998

Be Thou At Peace

Posted by Heidi on April 3, 2013:

It is hard to believe almost 8 years have passed. It is April again, the month of Stephen's birthday and his death. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about my brother. Usually on my way home from work, as I drive through Camp Pendleton, I think of different memories. I often laugh to myself and almost always get teary eyed. I have wanted to share my story and my memories of my brother for awhile, but I have to admit it stirs up pain and literally makes my heart hurt. Well, here I go. I apologize if I am all over the place, as that is just how my brain works when I think about Stephen. Stephen was 6 years older than me. He was not just my older brother, but my best friend. We had a unique and very special relationship. You would not think that with our age difference we would have been so close. Of course as we all get older age becomes less noticeable, but when you are 10 and 16 that is a different story. But not for us. My brother picked on me like I was a little brother. He practiced his wrestling moves, put me in the bottom of sleeping bags and whipped me around, threw me down the stairs, hit me in the chest with a baseball...on purpose, shot me with paintballs, and had me scrape ice off his car on the winter mornings or he wouldn't take me to school! The list could keep going. You would think I would have not liked this, but in fact it was just the opposite. He taught me that "pain was just weakness leaving the body." I have kept that with me and still remind myself of this "advice" as I go through pain. The other thing he told me is A "second place is the first loser." A It's funny what you decide to listen to and believe. For those who know me, I am competitive and strive to be the best in everything I do. I would not have achieved what I have without my brother. He instilled in me a little fighter that never gives up. When I was just 12, Stephen asked me to help train with him to prepare for his first year at West Point. I was like, "no problem!"- we would run together. My first run with him was around Lake Lansing, eight miles long! My love for running began that day. We sang army songs or chants, I don't know what they are called, but I thought it was cool. (your left, your left, your left right left.....airborne ranger, airborne ranger.....) We would have push up, pull up, and leg lift contests regularly. He could beat me in arm wrestling, but I could take him in a lot of other things! I would tell him "pound for pound, I am stronger than you, Dad said." This would always irritate him and I loved it. I would get up extra early for school when I was little, so I could have breakfast with my brother. It consisted of two strawberry pop tarts. He would always tell me I couldn't eat two! And I would prove him wrong. We would have contests to see who could eat the most pancakes on Sunday mornings and who could eat the most popcorn after school! Aside from our competition with sports and food, we shared a love for animals. If Stephen found a frog, he would put it in our gutter on the side of the house and come tell me. He would find large turtles on his runs and bring them back for me (he would run carrying a turtle, that is love.) He helped me get the leaches off the turtles and built a little wooden area for them to play. We both loved our dog, Prince! Stephen had a great sense of humor, and we laughed a lot!!! We always had a lot of fun on family vacations and our long drives to Iowa! I can see him laughing and his smile whenever I think about these memories. It is pretty evident that I looked up to Stephen and thought he was awesome. I wanted to be as smart, as athletic, and as cool as he was when I was growing up. To say that I miss him is an understatement. A part of me is gone and I can feel the hole everyday. My brother is my hero and a hero to so many! He could not have been a better brother, a better friend, or a better role model. A My brother had a full life in a short 29 years. He was a good person, who people admired and respected. He was entirely selfless and devoted to family. He was patient and kind. Stephen's death has changed me forever. My life, my family, my friends have a whole new meaning and I truly cherish every moment and try to be the best mother, daughter, sister, and friend that I can be, because Stephen was the best in every aspect of his life. Although new memories won't be made, I am happy for the memories I have.A Stephen- I love you and miss you very much!

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