Douglass Alfred Sedgwick

West Point, 1958

Be Thou At Peace

Posted by Laurie Sedgwick on June 18, 2017:

June 16,2017 - Veteran's Memorial Chapel - Lake Nona, FL I first want to thank all of you for being here today and celebrating my father's life. I am so grateful to see you all here for him. I'd like to take this opportunity to tell you about my Dad. My dad was my hero, my lodestar, my litmus test for any action I took; "If I did this, would dad be proud of me?, I asked myself this question regularly." Yes, even at age 55 -- Dad was my moral compass. Dad taught by example. By living a life rooted in the West Point motto and Douglas MacArthur's words: Duty, Honor, Country and I would add "and family" to that: Duty, Honor, Country and Family. But Dad always put family first. In 1975, we lost our mom and Dad's wife of 17 years to cancer. Dad suddenly became Dad AND Mom to three kids, aged 15, 12 and 9. Even as a sole parent, career Military officer, Dad managed to provide us a loving home, stability, and set an example of continuing to live life to its fullest to honor the loss of our mother. At the time of my mother's death at Walter Reed Army Hospital, my father was stationed at the Pentagon. Shortly thereafter, the army made a sympathetic reassignment and stationed us at Carlisle Barracks in Pennsylvania. I remember grocery shopping with my dad, planning out weeknight meals - Dad became a Crockpot Wizard - and making school lunches together. Meanwhile the three of us kids did well in school, participated in sports; Stephen was a bit of a golf prodigy which dad could not have been prouder of, Doug, a writer and musician in the making, studied abroad for a year in England and I owned, rode and showed my Quarter horse, Sugar. To this day, I have no idea how Dad managed it all. You also might not know that my dad was a fitness enthusiast and completed 7 marathons after age 60! Dad emphasized the importance of fitness and good health his entire life --and to anyone who would give him a listen. When I told one of the nurses in the hospital that dad had run 7 marathons, she asked how many he had won, Dad said "All of them". Dad had his sense of humor -- our family refers to as "Sedgwick Humor" literally until the day he died. Dad was also -- again in the tradition of West Point, all about service. Giving back at every turn. Through his volunteer work with the Marine Coast Space Institute helping troubled youth to raising service dogs for veterans, he taught, that it's not enough to do for yourself, it's imperative to do for others. Dad ultimately exemplified this through the 20+ years of service to our country that included a tour in Vietnam. I think one of my father's greatest qualities was his kindness -- his big heart. I have so many examples of this; his saying hello to everyone he walked past on the street, paying the tab of two elderly women dining together on Mother's Day and leaving the restaurant without them knowing he'd paid, and then most recently, at the hospital wanting to engage in conversation with each nurse who tended to him to get to know them as people. And always saying thank you. Then insisting on getting their first and last names written down because he was determined to write a letter to the head of the hospital attesting to their exemplary service, once he got out. But dad didn't leave the hospital this time. Another of my father's qualities -- and could honestly sometimes be infuriating -- was his strength of will and his inability to ever tell anyone when he was in pain or uncomfortable. We all expected -- like every time before - during his 13 years battling cancer -- that he would make a full recovery and come home. But that was not God's plan. After Dad's passing, I was sharing with my close friend Rosemary that I felt sad that Dad never came to peace with dying. And, good old retired Colonel, cattle rancher Texan, Rosey Carter said chastising me: "Of course not Laurie, your dad was a fighter and he was going to fight to the end." Finally, Dad leaves behind his loving family; Edie was the love of his life of the past 20+ years and made him a home he could not have been prouder of. Dad never stopped bragging about Edie's many qualities or about how much she meant to him. I'm eternally grateful to you Edie that you gave my father these many happy years. Dad loved equally each of his 3 very different children and was so proud of us. And he loved -- and was so proud of his grandchildren. I'll never forget him telling me once -- in a confessional sort of way -- "I loved you kids and everything, but there's just something about grandchildren". For Samantha and Alex and Andrew, Logan, Kate and Emma -- it was a gift that you knew your grandpa and now the gift you can give back is to let him be YOUR lodestar- live up to his legacy and continue to honor his life through yours. Finally, this statement from a dear friend ultimately sums up what so many of us are feeling: "About the only upside is that our emptiness now is a measure of what we had when Dad was as we all remember him." And in my brother Doug's words: "let's go forth and let Dad's light shine through in all of us".

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