Philippe Ovide Bouchard

West Point, 1955

Be Thou At Peace

Posted by Michael Bouchard on July 1, 2010:

My dad, Phil Bouchard, exhibited many exemplary qualities. I'd like to remember four of them with you today. Planning Dad was a thoughtful planner and one of the most organized people I've known. A few examples: Every summer we took vacations, mostly back to Michigan or Massachusetts because, being a military family, it was the only time we had to visit our extended family. The destinations remained unchanged, and the routes to get there were therefore pretty well defined, nevertheless Dad made sure to get his AAA TripTiks so he could know where every town, exit, construction site, and detour was located. I know this church body greatly benefited from his administrative skills in organizing lay ministries, and several have commented that he will be greatly missed. His planning handiwork is evidenced today in this funeral and all the attendant arrangements for his passing -- the order of service, Father Terry leading the service, the obituary (yes, he wrote his own), details of his "disposition," accommodations for family, and yes, "the book" -- a four-inch-thick 3-ring binder with all pertinent facts and instructions for Mom to carry on in his absence. The good news, Dad, is that some of your planning qualities have rubbed off on us... but we still have a long way to go. Humor Dad could come across as all-business, formal, no-nonsense. And he was. But if you spent any time with him you quickly found out he had a great, albeit sometimes dry, funny bone. As he got older, I think this quality got even better -- he enjoyed life and enjoyed the people he was with, and had a lot more laughs. He was never a joke-teller, but he guffawed readily at a good one, and loved to relay funny real-life stories. How does one combine being a serious minded planner with dry humor? Mom and I had to make the sober trip to the funeral home Wednesday to finalize the viewing, funeral, and burial arrangements. After we were done with business, we were swapping stories about Dad with Skip, our funeral coordinator. Skip relayed that he'd never dealt with quite the forward planner that Dad was. At one point Dad had come in to finalize plans and pay for the funeral, and told Skip, half serious and half tongue-in-cheek, "If all goes according to plan, I'll be seeing you five weeks from now." A bit macabre, but those of us who knew Dad got a good chuckle out of this. Some of us are better at it than others, but we all enjoy giving and getting a good laugh thanks to Dad. Integrity As I said, Dad was a no-nonsense guy, a straight shooter. He believed in giving and keeping his word as his bond to others. No angling or manipulation or "managing" people; he hated that. In fact I just learned that a high political officer several years ago approached him about spearheading an endeavor to increase science-oriented endeavors. His assessment was that it was too fraught with schmoozing for his tastes, so he turned it down. He told my Mom with his usual dry humor, "I don't do political science." He took a straightforward approach to dealing with problems -- gather the facts, identify and assess the options, make a decision, communicate it and go with it. Folks knew where he stood and why he stood there, and they knew he was doing the "bestest" or "rightest" thing he could, not for himself, but for all involved. In living with integrity he garnered tremendous respect and loyalty, and was a terrific example to all of us. Love This is another quality that became more open and apparent as Dad grew older. I think his grand kids were responsible for most of it, who helped loosen him up. He's given money to help his family members, sometimes to help in a tight spot, sometimes "just because." He's counseled his kids, grand kids, and co-workers through growing-up moments or thorny issues, even in times when we probably deserved a swift kick you-know-where instead. In fact I know that his love conflicted with his plan-ful, fix-it nature, causing him to lose sleep as he tried to figure out how to help us, or as he waited for us to finally "get it." As I said, he took a straightforward approach to things, but he seasoned if with a genuine respect for us as people. He wouldn't belittle us -- again a mark of his love. He really enjoyed spending time together, and talking with us, finding out what's going on in our lives. He found the good things in a given situation and encouraged us in these with his words. And, like any good grandparent, he loved to tell good stories about us (brag on us) to his friends and extended family members. Finally, I saw Dad take on a keener interest in God as he got older. He really zeroed in on God's love, and sought to love God in his worship and love other people as Christ loved him. Dad, your example of love reminds me of God's love: Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrated His own love towards us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Dad, you demonstrated your love in tangible acts and personal words, just like Christ. It was your own love, from your heart, just like Christ. It caused you to die to yourself -- denying your own desires/needs, and inconveniencing yourself -- so you could bless us, just like Christ. And sometimes your love drove you crazy as you went after us in love, then waited for us sinners -- sometimes rebelling, sometimes not caring -- to respond. And after we got it, you kept on loving and enjoying us. Perhaps you picked up on my choice of qualities -- the first letter in each quality combine to spell Dad's name, Phil. Phil Bouchard: a man of Planning a man of Humor a man of Integrity a man of Love Phil Bouchard -- a man of God. Thanks, Dad. I love you and I will miss you, but heaven is much richer with your presence. Mike

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